I will not do that thing with my tongue |
---|
I will not draw naked ladies in class |
---|
I will not waste chalk |
---|
I am not a 32 year old woman |
---|
Garlic gum is not funny |
---|
They are laughing at me, not with me |
---|
I will not skateboard in the halls |
---|
I will not instigate revolution |
---|
Tar is not a play thing |
---|
I did not see Elvis |
---|
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" |
---|
I will not trade pants with others |
---|
I will not yell 'fire' in a crowded classroom |
---|
I will not encourage others to fly |
---|
I will not Xerox my butt |
---|
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart |
---|
I will not sleep through my education |
---|
I will not cut corners |
---|
I will finish what I sta___ |
---|
The Christmas pageant does not stink |
---|
I will not sell school property |
---|
I will not get very far with this attitude |
---|
I will not do anything bad ever again |
---|
I will not make flatulent noises in class |
---|
I will not belch the national anthem |
---|
I will not sell land in Florida |
---|
I will not grease the monkey bars |
---|
I will not show off |
---|
I am not a dentist |
---|
Nobody likes sunburn slappers |
---|
High explosives and school don't mix |
---|
Underwear should be worn on the inside |
---|
I will not torment the emotionally frail |
---|
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender |
---|
I will not squeak chalk |
---|
Teacher is not a leper |
---|
Coffee is not for kids |
---|
A burp is not an answer |
---|
My name is not "Dr. Death" |
---|
I will not conduct my own fire drills |
---|
I will not spin the turtle |
---|
I will not fake seizures |
---|
I will not aim for the head |
---|
I will not spank others |
---|
I will not barf unless I'm sick |
---|
I saw nothing unusual in the teachers lounge |
---|
Funny noises are not funny |
---|
I will not snap bras |
---|
This punishment is not boring and pointless |
---|
I will not defame New Orleans |
---|
I will not prescribe medication |
---|
I will not teach others to fly |
---|
I will not bring sheep to class |
---|
I will not yell "She's dead" during roll call |
---|
I will not sell miracle cures |
---|
I will not eat things for money |
---|
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee |
---|
Goldfish don't bounce |
---|
I will not call the principal "spud head" |
---|
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups |
---|
I will not charge admission to the bathroom |
---|
I do not have diplomatic immunity |
---|
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy |
---|
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy |
---|
I will never win an emmy |
---|
I will return the seeing-eye dog |
---|
No one is interested in my underpants |
---|
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals |
---|
My home work was not stolen by a one-armed man |
---|
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr |
---|
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones |
---|
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of major league baseball |
---|
Beans are neither fruit nor musical |
---|
There are plenty of businesses like show business |
---|
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers |
---|
I will not dissect things unless instructed |
---|
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap |
---|
I will not send lard through the mail |
---|
Ralph wont "Morph" if you squeeze him hard enough |
---|
The boys room is not a water park |
---|
No one wants to hear from my armpits |
---|
I am not a lean mean spitting machine |
---|
I do not have power of attorney over first graders |
---|
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does |
---|
This is not a clue ... or is it? |
---|
I will not complain about the solution when I hear it |
---|
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist |
---|
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage |
---|
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism |
---|
Nerve gas is not a toy |
---|
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things |
---|
I will only do this once a year |
---|
The first amendment does not cover burping |
---|
Adding 'just kidding' doesn't make it okay to insult the principal |
---|
I will not hang donuts on my person |
---|
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding |
---|
I will not strut around like I own the place |
---|
I will remember to take my medication |
---|
I will not mock Mrs Dumbface |
---|
I am not certified to remove asbestos |
---|