Welcome to the Technical Figure Skating Quiz Page. This quiz has almost nothing to do with technical skating, but I'd never let a little thing like that stop me. The answers are at the end of this page. No peeking. So grab a number two pencil, a calculator and keep your eyes on your own paper. Let me know your score and I'll immortalize your name in the Technical Figure Skating Quiz Hall of Fame. I don't think anybody can ace this test. Think you've got the right stuff? We're on the honor system so no cheating. And no re-taking the test.

Q1: What is a "cherry flip"?

a) a toe loop

b) a drink favored by Oksana Baiul

c) a move where the skater drops down on one knee

d) a kind of spin.

Q2: Who invented the axel jump?

a) Dick Button

b) Axel Paulson

c) Sonja Henie

d) Skippy Baxter

Q3: Why is there a disproportionately large number of blondes in figure skating?

a) The skating gene is located next to the blonde gene

b: Most skaters are Swedish

c) There are no IQ tests required

d) Close examination reveals dark roots

Q4: What is this picture?
a) The tracings left on ice from a camel spin

b) The tracings left on ice from school figure eights.

c) A bubble chamber photograph of sub atomic pair generation

d) The take off mark from a triple axel

e) Scuzzy pond ice

Q5: What famous skater sat on Hitler's lap?

a) Cecilia Colledge

b) Sonja Henie

c) Tollar Cranston

d) Cora Darnell

e) Howard Stern

f) Barbara Ann Scott

Q6: Which of the following is false?

a) The first and last name of every senior lady in singles and pairs at the 1998 Russian Nationals ends in the letter 'a'.

b) Brian Boitano spray paints the top of his head

c) Katerina Witt stuffed her bra with teddy bears

d) Brian Boitano dressed up like a chicken

e) Nancy Kerrigan was bitten by a wolf

f) Tonya Harding was stalked by a professional golfer

g) Chuckie the troll says Kristi "Carmela" Yamaguchi competed for Mexico.

Q7: Who landed the first triple jump in competition?

a) Dick Button

b) Sonja Henie

c) Don Jackson

d) Nivek Nosredna

e) Ronnie Robertson

Q8: What would happen to a Twinkie if you let it sit on your desk for 2 years?

a) It would turn moldy and look like something growing in your shoe

b) It would be as fresh as the day it left the New Jersey chemical plant it was born in

c) It would petrify, retaining it's shape and color.

d) It would disintegrate into a gooey blob

e) It would spawn life and become a figure skating judge

f) It would look like a chia pet

Q9: Why is it a good idea to keep your toe nails trim?

a) You never know whose going to be looking at your feet in the lobby

b) Toe jumps

c) It could cause runs in your stockings or socks

d) They could damage your boot

d) You could save the clippings and make an ivory statue of Tara Lipinski out of them.

Q10: Who was the first and only North American woman to win the European championships?

a) Sonja Henie

b) Cecilia Colledge

c) Cora Darnell

d) Barbara Billingsly

e) Barbara Ann Scott

Q11: What excuse did Oksana Baiul give after being arrested for DUI and crashing her Mercedes into a tree?

a) She swerved to avoid an animal

b) She swerved to avoid a person

c) She was cut off by another driver and forced off the road

d) Her tire blew out and she lost control of the car

e) She was abducted by a UFO

f) She got carried away with a song on the radio

Q12: Which of the following does not have a criminal history?

a) Philippe Candeloro

b) Oksana Baiul

c) Nicole Bobek

d) Gary Beacom

e) Christopher Bowman

f) Tonya Harding

Q13: Whose foot is this?

a) Oksana Baiul

b) Kristi Yamaguchi

c) Rudy Galindo

d) Nancy Kerrigan

e) Michelle Kwan


Q1: a: A toe loop. It's known as a cherry flip in parts of Europe and William Shatner's homeland, Canada. I don't know what they call it in Japan, but it probably has something to do with fish.

Q2: b: Axel Paulson. If Peter Caruther's sister had invented it, people would be doing triple Kittys.

Q3: d: Close examination reveals dark roots. Real skating comes in a bottle.

Q4: c: Fysics is Fun. An electron/positron pair is created from a photon passing near a proton. Skating is the same thing except it doesn't produce anti-matter.

Q 5: b: Sonja Henie. What's the point of invading Poland if you can't pick up chicks? Good thing there weren't any Kennedy's around back then.

Q 6: e: Nancy Kerrigan was not bitten by a wolf. She was raised by wolves. Ok, that might not be true either. All the rest are strange but true. Here is Boitano in his chicken suit. A little barbeque sauce and you've got yourself some yummy chicken nuggets. Mmmmmmm.
Q 7: a: Dick Button. And if you knew it was a triple loop then you're a trivia stud.

Q 8: c: I have one on my desk. It's an ongoing experiment. The thing looks good enough to eat except it's hard enough to pound nails with. My twinkie will be around long after the human race is extinct.

Q 9: b: You've never known pain until you've jammed your toe in the ice on a flip. It hurts more than having to watch Paul Wylie skate to a movie theme one more time.

Q 10: e: Barbara Ann Scott won it twice before the Europeans kicked us out. Spoil sports. Sonja Henie isn't a North American. Cora Darnell is my grandmother. And Barbara Billingsly was June Cleaver on "Leave it to Beaver".

Q 11: f: She got carried away with a song on the radio. Must have been one heckuva song. Probably "Chipmunk Love" by the Captain and Teneille.

Q 12: a: Unless you count bad technique, Philippe is not a criminal. Nicole "Brass Knuckles" Bobek, breaking and entering. Gary Beacom has a philisophical problem with the concept of paying taxes. Chris Bowman put the "drugs" in "sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll". Oksana Baiul DUI. Tonya Harding was busted for, well, being Tonya Harding.

Q13: d: It's the lovely foot of Miss Nancy. If you missed this one it's because you didn't study. Shame, shame. Go back and read the Nancy Kerrigan's Foot page.

Hall of Fame

Here is a list of the people who emailed me their scores. Who needs a college education?

Dean Button's Honor Roll (all answers correct):

(nobody yet)

Cum Laude (10-12 answers correct):

(nobody yet)

Needs more ice time (7-9 answers correct):

(nobody yet)

Slept through high school (4-6 answers correct):

(nobody yet)

Reason our future is in trouble (0-3 answers correct):

(nobody yet)

Complaints should be entered here. All other inquires and offers of marriage should be sent to:

Kevin Anderson / kander@ix.netcom.com

Click your heels together three times and say, "There's no place like home"

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